County prosecutor misspells job title as "persecutor"; no one seems to notice difference

If anybody reading this lives in or near Juneau County, you have my condolences for having this yo-yo for a County Prosecutor:

Gov. Jim Doyle signed a bill in February that requires schools that teach sex education to instruct students on how to use contraceptives properly. Supporters said the Healthy Youth Act will reduce teen pregnancies.

 But Juneau County District Attorney Scott Southworth has sent a letter to the county's five school districts warning them that requirement promotes sexual assault.

What?

If I'm not mistaken, "sexual assault" is shorthand for this thing called rape. How you look at a sex ed course (with parental opt-out provisions, yet) and get this pretzel logic-driven result is beyond me, but let's continue:

 He said it's illegal for minors to have sex and teaching the use of contraceptives encourages sexual behavior.

"To encourage children to have sex in any way, shape or form is egregious," Southworth said.

 Too bad that's not the stated goal of the program, now, is it?

The Wisconsin Department of Health Services released a statement Tuesday disagreeing with Southworth.

"The law provides comprehensive, medically accurate, unbiased, and age-appropriate information, and teaches teens about the potential negative consequences of their choices. The law helps identify abuse and prevent teen pregnancy," said Seth Boffeli, spokesman for the Department of Health Services, in a statement. "Study after study has shown that abstinence-only education does not work. The Healthy Youth Act updates our standards to reflect the health risks teens face today."

Of course, trying to explain such facts to an apparent nutter like Southworth seems a bit...difficult, to say the least:

"It's one thing to instruct students about human biology, human physiology and reproduction. It's quite another to cross that line and start teaching students on how to engage in sex for pleasure."

I told you he'd probably miss the point. Clowns like this usually do.

Here's the kicker, though:

He said teachers who know students are having sex and then teach those students the use of contraceptives could be charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

And I'm sure that any aspirations Southworth has towards running for higher office did not figure into his implied threats of prosecution. No, sirree. Not once.

Malapa fossils: relatives or not?

Well, someone found some old bones again in South Africa, and yet another controversy results.

First, the pro:

Berger and his collaborators based their conclusions on A. sediba's distinctive amalgam of primitive and derived traits. Features such as its small brain, small body, and very long arms link the creature to the australopithecines, especially A. africanus, whom A. sediba resembles in details of the face and teeth. Yet the new species also exhibits a number of characteristics seen only in Homo, including its flatter face, robust pelvis and long, striding legs. Similarities to H. erectus in particular, according to the team, are evident in details of the skull and pelvis.

And now the con:

Paleontologists not involved in the new work agree that the two South African skeletons represent a major discovery. But they are very much divided on the issue of where this new hominin belongs on the family tree. "It is truly an incredible find," comments Meave Leakey of the National Museums of Kenya, who recently traveled to South Africa and looked at the A. sediba remains. "I found it was hard to believe what we saw in view of the quantity and quality of the fossils. However, I do not think that they are ancestral to Homo or have anything to do with Homo." Rather, she says, "these fossils reinforce my view that the australopithecines in South Africa underwent a separate radiation that had little to do with East African species that have been called Australopithecus, other than that they share a common ancestor." In 2001 Leakey and her colleagues announced their discovery of a hominin they called Kenyanthopus platyops, and suggested that it could be another possible ancestor of Homo.

As usual, I'm sure that some creationist group will immediately attempt to prove that such a minor disagreement among paleontologists automatically equates to Goddidit (and, as usual, fail miserably), but let's leave such sophisticated arguments to the preschoolers they're apparently intended for.

Bill Donohue, Bishop Alvarez. Bishop Alvarez, Bill Donohue

A few days ago, I posted on Bill Donohue's singularly bizarre comments on the continuing pedophilia scandal in the Roman Catholic  Church that he made on Larry King Live. It seems that he has a buddy who's in complete agreement with him, and his statement is just as much of a pile of batsh*t craziness as Donohue's was:

His comments were that there are youngsters who want to be abused, and he compared that abuse to homosexuality, describing them both as prejudicial to society. He said that on occasions the abuse happened because the there are children who consent to it.

‘There are 13 year old adolescents who are under age and who are perfectly in agreement with, and what’s more wanting it, and if you are careless they will even provoke you’, he said.

What the hell?

All those years as a supposedly learned man of the cloth and the only thing you can come up with is a restatement of the "she was asking for it" canard rapists have used for centuries to excuse their actions?

If this is the best the Church hierarchy can come up with in terms of a response to this scandal, they're in far worse shape than anyone can imagine.

The passing of Ye Olde Local Brewes from the mortal coil

Noooooooo!

"It is with some sadness and regret that we note the passing into history of two of Goose Island's oldest styles of ale: Nut Brown (formerly Hex Nut Brown) and Oatmeal Stout. These classic English styles were born in the brewpub at 1800 Clybourn and later bottled and distributed from the Fulton Street brewery. Both beers received critical acclaim and continue to win awards at the highest level.

But in the competition for fermentation capacity, tap handles, and shelf space, Nut Brown and Oatmeal Stout have been disadvantaged by the increasing popularity of hoppy, wheat, sour, and barrel aged beer styles. We are grateful for the few loyal aficionados who have enjoyed our old friends until the end. To you, we can offer only assurance that the Goose Island brewpubs will continue to brew regular batches of both beers and offer them by the pint and by the growler to enjoy at home.

The very last batches of Nut Brown Ale and Oatmeal Stout are in stores now: good to the last drop."

Both of those were damn fine brews - especially the Nut Brown - and I'm sad to see 'em disappear from store shelves.

However, the mad scientists at Goose Island continue to make this bottle of pure, unadulterated Archfiend-endorsed evil available to the public, and if you're not driving for a few hours or so (note: I'm not kidding about this) you too will see the power of its decadent nature in toto. Cheers.