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And apparently, what we deserve are morons like John Shimkus (R-Middle Ages).

And yes, that was a supposedly sane adult who made that statement. One who was elected more than once as a member of the House of Representatives from my home state, no less. And now he's running for the Energy and Commerce committee chairmanship.

Even if you take issue with the concept of global warming, I find it difficult to believe that any GW opponent with two brain cells to rub together would want Shimkus representing their cause in Congress. You'd get better results - and more logical thinking - from a gibbon.
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In the wake of the Sun-Times' qualified endorsement of Pat Quinn for Governor, I'd like to point out another reason why voting for Bill Brady might not be such a hot idea:

GOP gubernatorial hopeful Bill Brady said Tuesday he would not stand in the way of a public school board should it want to teach creationism.

“I believe knowledge is power, and I believe local school districts should establish the curriculum when it comes to those things,” Brady told the Chicago Sun-Times editorial board in a wide-ranging interview session with running mate Jason Plummer.

"Knowledge is power", eh? So why go with a cultural relativist concept of "knowledge" that implies that scientific knowledge can be changed by a school board's vote, especially considering that pressure groups will do their best to sway that vote? What's next: voting on whether Newton or Einstein's concept of gravity is more scientifically accurate?

There's more, of course:

Brady was asked repeatedly about his personal views on intelligent design.

“My knowledge and my faith leads me to believe in both evolution and creationism,” he said. “I believe God created the earth, and it evolved.”

Uh, Bill...Bill? I  hate to say this, but those concepts are mutually incompatible, at least as far as politically active creationists have it. It's been reiterated time and time again by figures such as Duane Gish and Ken Ham that biblical inerrancy is the only POV in science education that's acceptable to them. For Gish, Ham and other like-minded fundamentalists, there is no middle ground, which is exactly why Brady's hemming and hawing on this issue comes off as so much typical politics-driven waffling.

Then again, what do you expect from a pol looking for the Main Chance these days? The truth?

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You've got to admire a man who sticks to his principles: Urkel's aide Carla Oglesby was fired, but only after she was arrested for the oodles of dollars she allegedly defrauded the county of.

(Yeah, I said "principles". I didn't say they were good ones.)
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Pun intended, though that seems to be the only funny thing about this post.

First it was Governor Quitter being her usual wackjob self concerning the President's middle name; then it was an interview I heard on Fresh Air with Jeff Sharlet that concerned fundamentalist chaplains and officers in the armed forces trying to inculcate a crusader mentality among their troops (which must go over really well in Afghanistan right now); and now a group of morons in Tennessee are trying to get construction of a new mosque halted even though an earlier one has existed in that particular town for decades.

But if you're from Illinois like me, not to worry; we've got our fair share of deranged mopes as well.
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Although Fitz may not be feeling particularly golden over Scummy only getting convicted on one of 24 counts, at least he can take credit on putting long-time sack of garbage Hal Turner away last Friday.
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Arrrrrgh the First: tell me how in the hell this happens - especially in the wake of hours of wiretap footage that had Scummy dead to rights on selling Obama's former seat in the Senate? 

Arrrrrgh the Second: White Sox lose on an all-too-predictable bad pitch to former Sox player Jim Thome in the 10th inning. My urge to vomit over the AL Central standings is increasing on a day-to-day basis.
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A quick memo to the friends of Mark "no, really, I was at Valley Forge!" Kirk: attempting to smear Alexi Giannoulias over the fact that his bank okayed a loan to Tony Rezko is nice, until you realize that Rezko also gave Kirk and a whole bunch of other people (quite a few of whom are fellow Republicans) money from his slush fund. 

On the other hand:

The loan was made on Feb. 14, 2006 — a month before Mr. Giannoulias won the Democratic primary for treasurer. He had left the bank several months earlier to run for treasurer, and there appears to be no proof he had anything to do with the loan, which was repaid.

The point of this, of course is not  to back Giannoulias over Kirk (I voted for David Hoffman in the Dem primary and may very well go third party come November),  but that anytime a gaggle of politicians like Joe Birkett (not exactly the best of character witnesses, due to a certain wrongful prosecution he was involved in) start singing the Peter Pure aria, you might want to try to find out who paid for the score to that particular opera in the first place.  

But just for comic "she said what? relief, I give you Phyllis Schlafly. And I don't want her back.

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I never thought that Scummy would be at a loss for words during his trial. For once, he was.

I also suspect that this might be a bit of a tip-off as to how his own legal team views his chances:

His team rested its case without calling a single witness -- and without playing a single tape.

Yeah, there's more from that link - obviously - but that one sentence says so much without having to go into further detail about it. 

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..really isn't worth the time to refute. Focus on the Family, American Family Institute, etc. You know the drill: promote as harsh and unyielding a fundamentalist program for America, but do it for the children.  Mrs. Lovejoy from The Simpsons would be impressed.

So in the wake of a Second Circuit Court of Appeals ruling concerning the use of a "single, non-literal use of an expletive", it's no surprise that a local group with the word family tellingly included in its name decided to get all p*ssy (1) and moan about how the children are going to be oh so battered by the fruit of such rulings:

 Tuesday’s appeals court ruling struck David Edward Smith, executive director of the Illinois Family Institute, as a “sad” decision.

“What this says to parents is that you don’t have a reasonable expectation of not being assaulted from your television or radio,” explained Smith, who became famous for his protracted crusade against radio personality Mancow Muller while he was a host on rock station WKQX-FM (101.1).

"Protracted crusade", eh? Look, I'm no fan of Muller's: to me, he was just another morning zoo assclown of no real significance. He still has a right to be just that, though. And what must really bug Smith is his rather paltry batting average against Muller:

Smith said he filed 70 complaints against Muller with the FCC between 1999 and 2004. Smith said he was never a fan of Muller’s sexually graphic material, including interviews with porn stars and strippers.

You read that right 70 complaints. In five years. And how many were taken seriously?

According to Smith, at least seven of his complaints were deemed actionable by the FCC and resulted in WKQX parent Emmis Communications paying significant fines. Muller did not respond to calls seeking comment Tuesday.

To me, that equates to a batting average of .100. Feel free to note that Smith made the claim that those seven actionable complaints resulted in "significant fines", whatever that means. But hey, at least he's not paying people to "lift his luggage" like some other guys with the word "family" prominently included in their organization's name, eh?

(1) The Archfiend reserves the right to edit text that may offend people apparently afraid of words such as f*ck, sh*t, c*nt, c*cksucker and the like. He also reserves the right to call them gutless little cretins whose idea of emasculating the English language is akin to reducing Kobe beef to Gerber baby food. I'd apologize if I cared that this may offend certain parties, but I don't. Ah, well.
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Keep in mind this is old news from 2007, not that it's any less relevant in 2010.

Apparently, Mitch Daniels and the environmental regulators who work for him want to go down in history as a bunch of guys the citizens of three neighboring states really, really have no reason to like.

This part from the quoted Tribune article is especially suspect (emphasis mine):

In the last four months, more than 40 people e-mailed comments to Indiana officials about BP's water permit. One of the few supportive messages came from Kay Nelson, environmental director of the Northwest Indiana Forum, an economic development organization that includes a BP executive among its board of directors. She hailed the company's discussions with state and community leaders as a model for others to follow.

Aren't you looking forward to the increased environmental degradation and health problems this will cause down the road in the name of economic development?

Good old BP. Always making friends. Just not with people who don't have large amounts of money or clout.
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Good ol' Scummy. He's making friends, being courteous to veteran reporters and being fiscally responsible.

It's almost enough to make you forget the last crook who was an Illinois governor, but not quite.
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I'll be fair for once and completely ignore the handgun ruling in favor of bringing up a blunder that didn't get nearly enough attention from the media: the Supreme Court weakening a law that might have a lot of relevance concerning a couple of twerps who got busted in Illinois: Scummy and a newspaper magnate and all-around asshat who will definitely be played by Powers Boothe when a film is made about him.  
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People like Richard Blumenthal, Mark Kirk and Jan Brewer should know better, but don't.

I'm waiting for a candidate for public office to declare that he/she/it took part in the amphibious assault on Latvia under the command of General Midwinter to end Communism, but I have a feeling that a movie's been made about it already.
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A parade of wingnut reindeer games is being played against GOP standard bearers deemed not wingnutty enough by some, and now it's apparently Lindsey Graham's turn to be this week's Mark Kirk

Some people are beyond help.
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First off, there's an impending US Senate race that comes off as being just as appetizing as the 1998 Governor's race between George "Traffic Safety" Ryan and Glenn Poshard. And then there's this guy running for governor:

Brady also has opposed some government transparency efforts, including requiring campaign contributors to list their occupations, and he said adopting detailed federal-style statements of economic interest for public officials would be "a little bit of an overreaction."

Since I'm a big supporter of government transparency (read: if you're going to take outright bribes from campaign contributors, you just might have to declare that in advance of voting for a bill that involves that contributor's interests), that doesn't sit all that well with me. What sits even less well is this:

 Brady has supported bringing religion into public classrooms "through the principles of the Founding Fathers' design" and also believes local school boards should be able to order the teaching of creationism.

Congratulations on really insuring I'm not going to vote for you, Bill.  It's also nice to know that  - as a man who touts your Roman Catholic faith at the drop of a hat - you're leaning towards a postion that the church apparently doesn't agree with, not that that's stopped creationist loudmouths like Pat Buchanan in the past, either. 

Oh, and for all of the animal lovers out there, consider this one:

The Bloomington lawmaker also tried to help a local veterinarian by sponsoring a bill allowing mass euthanasia of dogs and cats, which typically involves gassing the animals.

Or people worried about their health? Especially women? He's a good buddy to them as well:

In keeping with the wishes of the insurance industry — his hometown's largest private employer is State Farm Insurance Cos. — Brady has fought against government mandates for broader insurance coverage, including mammograms for women and longer hospital stays for postpartum mothers.

Wow. This guy is just makin' friends all over the place, isn't he?
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You may've seen some simply wonderful references I've made in the recent past to a creature going by the name of Andy Martin (previous examples include this and this), but I thought that a bit of a refresher course on the TMD might be offered by referencing a few other choice tidbits concerning the former Anthony Martin-Trigona, especially concerning some of his legal activities as detailed here:

Martin-Trigona's history in the federal Second Circuit Court of Appeals, which is comprised of New York, Connecticut and Vermont, dates back at least to the eighties.  In 1984, Hon. Jose Cabranes enjoined Martin-Trigona from continuing to burden the court system with frivolous and scurrilous pleadings. Substantially affirming Judge Cabranes's order, the Second Circuit laid out Martin-Trigona's history to that point in In re Martin-Trigona, 737 F.2d 1254 (2d Cir. 1984).

Oh, but there's more!

The Second Circuit proceeded to summarize the factual findings made by Judge Cabranes to support the injunction:

Martin-Trigona is known to have filed over 250 civil actions, appeals, and other matters throughout the United States, which have been pursued with "persistence, viciousness, and general disregard for decency and logic." He has used legal pleadings to ventilate his contempt and hatred of persons of Jewish heritage and to level accusations which "have often been personal, have often emphasized racial or religious affiliations, and have often involved the members of . . . judges' and counsel's families." The purpose, nature and effect of his resort to multiple litigation has been to involve as many persons in as many confounding legal processes as possible. . . . Martin-Trigona's voluminous filings have "inundated" the District of Connecticut and his activities have burdened judicial operations to the point of impairing the administration of justice. Finally, Martin-Trigona has not desisted from his course of vexatious litigation but has expressly stated his intent to file yet more actions.

Uh huh. And yeah, it's the same tool who refers to his "inspirational life story and biography" on his vanity web site with one hand while trying desperately to sling mud at Mark Kirk's sexuality and military record with the other.

Yeah, that's "inspiring" something, all right. Nausea, as far as I can tell.
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 The bipartisan quest to find new lakes of Stupid during primary season takes a couple of interesting turns: first, it was this repulsive radio commercial by Andy Martin, who was once a guest on a certain nationally syndicated radio loudmouth's TV show on Fox News. It figures.

And in this corner, Urkel's supporters play the race card and demean two fellow African-American candidates at the same time.   

Ah, Illinois politics. You've gotta love 'em. But only if you actually like having the equivalent of tertiary syphilis.
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You may have seen this on the news, but just in case you haven't, things are going down the Stupid route quite early this election cycle.

Just when you thought that Illinois statewide primaries couldn't get dumber, this guy shows up and decides to prove us all wrong. 

As unsympathetic as I am towards Mark Kirk for any number of reasons, the guy should be judged on what he seems to believe is effective public policy and how he votes, not the rantings of a squirrely individual like Candidate Nutjob here:

In the radio ad, which aired Monday on WGN-AM and WBBM-AM, Martin attributes a "solid rumor that Kirk is a homosexual" to conservative Republican businessman Jack Roeser. Martin's ad also claims that Raymond True, the chairman of the conservative Republican Assembly of Lake County organization, says Kirk has surrounded himself with homosexuals. The ad says Kirk should address the rumors.

Uh huh. The only way those rumors should be "addressed" is through ridicule and derision, but my guess is that the Kirk campaign won't give Martin the kick in the seat he deserves even though he usually polls less than Mickey Mouse in primaries. Oh, and he's a holder of other charming views such as the following:

In federal court filings from the 1980s related to bankruptcy proceedings against him, Martin called one federal judge a "crooked, slimy Jew, who has a history of lying and thieving common to members of his race." He also expressed sympathy to the perpetrators of the Holocaust
 

Fun guy, eh?

In a state where political corruption on the part of functionaries from both major parties is endemic, it's occasionally nice to know that it's only mere corruption we have to worry about.
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I haven't had much of anything nice to say about DuPage County GOP heavyweight (and perennial gubernatorial candidate) JIm Ryan ever since his role in the railroading of Rolando Cruz over the Jeanine Nicarico case became known, and his already tainted track record as DuPage County State's Attorney got even less appealing following testimony by Ryan's longtime pal Stuart Levine during the trial of ex-Governor Scummy's longtime pal Tony Rezko:

But there's more that could prove to be troubling for Ryan's bid for governor. Two investment firms whose managers collectively gave more than $70,000 to Ryan's failed 2002 gubernatorial campaign subsequently got multimillion-dollar government pension deals, state records and transcripts of Levine's testimony at Rezko's trial show. Levine testified he helped the firms win those deals, which were approved by a state board on which Levine sat within 30 days of the contributions to Ryan's campaign fund.

You can read the rest of this at the above link, but it's worth noting that a Ryan spokescritter has done the predictable pee-pee dance around the substance of the charges, as usual:

Jim Ryan spokesman Dan Curry says Ryan has no reason to think the contributions he got from Walton Street Capital and the John Buck Co. are in any way tainted and doesn't plan to return them.

"Throughout his career, Jim Ryan's integrity and the integrity of the law enforcement offices and campaigns he ran have been above reproach," Curry says. "He had no connection whatsoever to the secret crimes committed by Stuart Levine.

"At the time Jim Ryan knew him, Stuart Levine was a respectable citizen in the eyes of everyone, including the news media. Jim Ryan closed his previous campaign fund years ago and has no intention of refunding any money that was long ago spent and honorably collected."

Yeah. Sure. Keep in mind that this was a politician from Illinois that decided that Levine (who hosted some of those drug shindigs at a Lincolnwood hotel Chicago SF fans know all too well) was "respectable".

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It looks like Urkel is making even Blago's abysmal approval ratings look good in comparison.

A sure sign that the sharks smell blood: four announced primary opponents in an election that'll be held early next year.

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