Today's guest columnist...

[the_archfiend]

...is an old friend of mine, and she wrote this thing, not me, though I did help out somewhat with the editing. Credit/blame where it's due, (NOTE: it's long, but worth reading. Trust me. At least as far as you can, that is.)

Sincerely Yours…An open letter to address Fandom con and club current events.

Warmest greetings to all…For those of you who don’t know me, my name is M.D. Farley., and I am a humble SMOF at your service. I am by no means an authority on the matters I’m discussing in this document, and what I’m writing is advice, not law. That being said…

In recent times I have witnessed two extraordinary things. The first is that my beloved fan conventions and clubs have been enjoying an upsurge in membership and attendance. I long feared that SF and fantasy cons and clubs would phase out of existence by the time I reached my current age. I am glad beyond all hope and expectation that I was not only wrong, but that this sorely underappreciated venue has achieved a second wind.

The second thing is not so pleasant. A few larger convention committees, (or “concoms”) and fandom social clubs are suffering some serious bad press, and worse, some are earning it. In my day, concoms and fan social clubs were small affairs that were operated by anywhere from one to five people, so a benevolent dictatorship was all they needed to thrive. Things have changed, and it should be for the better, because the best thing that can happen to both of these social institutions is what is happening now. We have an older, established community and an influx of new blood from younger generations. Unfortunately, the older generation is used to having unofficial and informal “self-policing” management set-ups while the younger generation is inclined to “police” just about every word and action. Both sides find the other disdainful towards each other’s generational conventions. Between the cracks of these infighting issues, very dangerous people and bad or lacking management practices are slipping in and showing up in public media forums as what can be termed "shame stains” against fandom and our institutions. I assumed these problems would be self-correcting; just “growing pains” at worst. To my immense relief, most of the cases have proved to be just that, but some are having alarming half-lives and worst of all, legal implications. I’ve no desire to try to fix things that are not broken. It is this last bit regarding potentially litigious conduct that I wish to address.

Nepotism

Domestic partner teams and random friends and relatives willing to work cheap or free are often good investments. More workloads and more types of labor get done for less money or resources and more efficiently. If this was *always* the outcome of employing help this way, or even statistically the majority of productive outcome, this issue would be a non-starter. Too often however, the domestic partner of an officer or staffer is *not* voted by a major in concoms into the positions of authority or responsibility that they will later wield at a  in-progress con. Please cease this behavior *immediately*.

I don’t give a rat’s ass if they are the best thing to happen since the birth of a messiah. If this person was not officially voted and appointed into their role by *majority* vote from the ruling members of the management branch he or she is acting in the interests of, that’s a violation of ethics *and* safety. *All* offices and duties of convention management and operations are representative of the con management and staff, and each are saddled with responsibilities and liabilities of that station. It is the onus of all management committees to do their due diligence in researching backgrounds. That’s why, if they fail to do that research, this bit of oversight or slacking can cost *everyone* huge and permanent losses.

One of many examples of why they should do this research is in the event management or a committee unwittingly hires a pedophile who uses the con to secure their prey. The persons who appointed this predator into their office or duties will be held liable in the eyes of the law, and a *federal* judge will decide if the committee *as a whole* should be penalized as enablers, or for reckless endangerment, or both. Now, if an officer’s or a staffer’s unofficial aide turns out to be a criminal, or even just a minor, it won’t be just that officer or staffer who gets the lawsuits or worse…It will be *everyone* that officer or staffer works for and/or with. That’s the worst case scenario. Less worse but still dangerous bad is child labor and delinquency laws being violated. More often, it’s a case of your unofficial aide having a bad week and losing a valuable sponsor. Just remember, if someone in an organization breaks the law, *everyone* is held accountable, and many will be surprised to learn they cannot escape this accountability or guilt by association.

Is there a better way to do this? Actually, yes…If a con officer or staff really needs the extra help then they need to bring the person(s) they wish to utilize in front of the *entire* assembled persons whom appointed said staff or officer into office. Introductions must be made, and clarifications of expectations should be traded between aide and the management or committee. The aide needs to provide valid and current proof of age and residency and credentials. The management or committee secretary must make a real attempt to match the identification of the aide against the sex offender registry, regardless of the age, gender, or status of the helper. The sex offender registry is *free* to peruse so there is no excuse. These days more children, under-dressed fans, and people of diverse orientations are attending our conventions. Their rights and safety are priority one, and we *must* undertake *all* reasonable and rational care to ensure we meet our civic duties in this social contract. This is how our country’s legal system sees it, so should we.

If the aide is under-aged or cannot/will not produce valid and current picture I.D., then regardless of reasons, don’t let them help. Kindness or need are not worth fines or jail time or potential endangerment of a minor. Ultimately, it is management or the committee who must accept liability for this person’s words or actions during the course of performing their con-related duties. During the con, this aide should have a badge that clearly states that they are an *aide* of concom, management, or staff. Aides do *not* have the authority of the officer or staff they work for *even if* their super appoints it to them. Aides can do the gophering but they have *zero* authority and cannot make decisions, endorsements, or execute rewards or punishments on behalf of the person they work for. If the aide does do wrong on any scale, the aide’s super will be punished as well which will hopefully inspire people to be very careful of whom they get help from and in what capacity. I close with a fact of life…In times of stress, personal accountability is rare if it’s not enforced. Conventions are *very stressful* events.

This segues into…

Concom, staff, and Guest conduct.

This is a  personal pet peeve of mine from way back, so assume some puckering is involved. I’ve performed my hospitality and gophering duties in what I am certain was Hell itself a time or three. I know that some people are so awful and you are so tired and frustrated that you start thinking about a life of crime…beginning with a few justifiable homicides. It’s compounded when you’ve been having a really bad time in your life outside the confines of your badge duties. All that said, if I went to my hair stylist and he starts screeching at me for not doing anything right and he screws up my haircut I’m going to want something a *lot* more valid than "(he’s) having a bad week". I’ll give him an even worse rest of his life, I promise.

If you are at the con in *any* official capacity - most especially if you are paid or compensated to attend - your professionalism is *mandatory*. You are expected to behave as politely and professionally as a defendant in court, the day after you woke up in the process of being arrested for what was either the most glorious or most horrific sexual escapade you’ll never remember. There *will* be drunks, smartasses, psychopaths, psychotics off of or mixing their meds, the terminally stupid, the death-wishing politically correct, and most of all, people who are trying to dispel their own really bad week by having way too much fun. They don’t want to be responsible. That’s *your* job. Do it right.

Start by being vigilant of fen or staff behavior that could seriously offend the hotel management and staff. We are a difficult bunch when we are sober and navigating in Mundania. When we are drunk or have our geek-nerd thing dialed to twelve at a con or club fest some of us can be downright insufferable. There are plenty of non-fandom conventions willing to pay big tips and pay for the grand buffets but that are also less inclined to offend or scare the non-convention hotel guests. Be respectful, courteous, and bring extra money to tip the poor souls who clean your room and provide room service and keep the other hotel guests from engaging in mob action against you.

Sometimes the disasters are the hotel’s own fault. Don’t get me started about the high-end hotel chain’s booking snafu that had an awesomely realistic-looking alien horror cosplayers' con booked on the same weekend as a Jehovah Witnesses summit conference. I was riding an elevator car to an upper floor alongside a lady from the JW summit. The look she gave me was one thing, but when life-sized Pumpkinhead © wrapped his fingers around the opening door and poked his drooling, snaggle-fanged puss in for a snarling guttural greeting, the lady next to me just lost her shit (her kids were ecstatic, though). I could smell her piss, and I hope she cleaned up before it caused chafing, but there are occasions when one should pretend not to see the eight-foot demon in the room. Discretion and all that. For those of you who are curious, the demon lost this encounter. Being far more authentic denizens of the Underworld, the kids in the elevator had almost completely dismantled the cosplayer’s costume before the doors opened again.

The hotel didn’t let that happen again. Instead, they booked a Shriner’s convention on the same weekend as an infamous rapper group. True story, and you might actually be surprised at which group got the most arrests for felony charges in the days that followed this match-up (or maybe not). Anyways…

Be equally vigilant about not becoming the screeching harpy hierophant when hard-partying fen act out or are too obliterated to remember what you said to them five minutes ago. I’ve long since learned that screaming at a drunk person for blowing a rape whistle for fun at 3AM is not effective. Smiling sweetly and using a sexy soft voice when assuring them that whistle’s next toot will be through their asshole works much better. If that only instigates them, throw them out of the convention immediately and do it with the least amount of drama possible. People notice when a loud degenerate is removed, and we’re a smart enough bunch to twig that his or her removal was not because they were providing free entertainment. Whatever you do, don’t enable someone who wants to be publicly martyred. To avoid potential backlashes later, ensure that only your concom make this call and that uninvolved (but official) security persons do the escorting to the exit.

Above all, never lose your shit. It’s a known fact in the business and criminal justice arenas that a person who introduces subjective emotions into any debate just lost that match in that instant, regardless of whether they were right or wrong. Think about when you found yourself resorting to an emotional attack or appeal or when you were compelled to lash out or walk away to prevent that lash-out. If you look at every one of those moments objectively, you’ll see what I’m talking about. You did those things because you lost control, and no control means no authority or respect. There are times when bidding for empathy or motivating someone emotionally is a sound judgment call. If you are good at making those calls you’ve got some enviable composure to begin with, though, not an absence of it.

Fraternal Fandom: A message about “members only” attitudes.

Let’s be frank, fandom is mostly composed of the sorts of people who live apart from societal norms, and if some of us are more “apart” than others, we cherish the friends and peer-belonging we do have far more than our socially gifted peers are inspired to feel. Most people who go to our conventions cannot find the interpersonal connections and social validation that we need outside these fandom cons and clubs feel protective of our limited social outlets. Especially when these are being “invaded” by people we perceive as being quite capable of finding many more and other social groups, and especially to the ‘nth power when the “outsider” clearly isn’t as well versed or as immersed in our culture as we are.

I’m going to ask my fellow fen if any of you remember what your first experiences and impressions of fandom cons and clubs were like. Mine was life-changing. All of my life to that day was spent wondering what was so wrong with me that people would call me “weird” or worse for being me and liking the things I did. The first day of the first convention I attended I was literally too stunned to think, sleep, or chill. The second day, I had more fun in those few hours than I’d ever had. The third day, I cried for nearly two hours with sheer happiness and relief. I *never* wanted that convention to end. I’ve been going to fannish cons for over twenty years now, and I *still* don’t know all I could be even inside the realms of my most beloved media and icons. There will always be people who know more and better than I do, and that’s just effing wonderful! I wouldn’t have it any other way if it were my blank canvas to paint as I willed.

If your story is anything like mine, then you know what it’s like to be force-fed a shit sandwich all of your social life until the one magical day you attend your first con or fan club meeting. You didn’t go in knowing everything you know now and admit it or not, you know so much more now *because* you interacted with other fans over a long period of time. So when the newbies come in, just chill and behave like the kind of person you wish other people outside fandom would behave like towards you. Reverse discrimination never cures or vindicates the hurt. It just validates and creates more hurt and isolation. I can’t speak for everyone, but I like having a bigger selection of potential friends and contacts to choose from than to be limited to a stagnant pool of acquaintances. I’m sure we’ve all figured out by now that just because another person loves our hobbies or passions as much as we do does not make them compatible on any other level or in any other areas of interest and commerce. Fellow fen, please take the high road and be the best versions of yourselves and the best ambassadors of our eccentric but lovable culture in every opportunity presented to you.

You are the last to know…Take advantage of it.

         All professional management or committee groups should have a media relations person, and that person should be doing consistent weekly perusals of online forums and other media sources that are directly relevant to the business of the group they work with. Obviously, this is great for keeping up with current events, competition, and changes in markets, tools, and resources. The other useful point is a little less obvious but just as powerful.

Social media sites and fan forums are often where a social organizations’ unhappy members go to complain or  even recruit. In the recent past I’ve seen promising social clubs and budding conventions fold at their respective apexes as a result of issues that were announced *months* in advance of the fall inside a few *public forum* fan chat circles. Most of the executive staff in these situations never saw it coming. Others, less forgivably, *did* see it but hoped it would blow over on its own if they stuck their heads in the sand long enough. Overseer bodies *should* care *very much* if trouble rears its ugly head, and they need to move *quickly* to resolve these matters in a thorough and professional fashion. A dependable and vigilant PR person is priceless. If you have one, treat them like the rare and precious assets they are. If you don’t, it’s way past time you did.

It’s on paper, or it’s not policy.

I get it. These days people are burned out from a newsfeed that is histrionic, hypochondriac, trolling, neurotically politically correct and about as reliable and cohesive as a collection of personal opinions from an online dating site. Pair this with having to cope with people who tend to be more self-entitled, a little *too* informal, and who think they are (or should be), immune to the consequences of their words and actions. The factors combine to make managing a social organization a battle of attrition, as people ardently fight for concessions or exceptions or vetoing of every little “no” they encounter. Whether you are con com, staff or aide, if you started out as optimistically ambitious your good attitude and intentions are not going to last for long in these conditions. Don’t let those “conditions” get any traction in the first place.

During the course of my university studies, I encountered instructors who tried to arbitrarily grade students on the basis of personal sentiments that were not defined on the grading systems, or in the rules outlined in their course curriculums and class prospectuses. An example was a professor who tried to give me a zero for an entire semester because I used a former pet’s sterilized remains in an art homage piece in her class. Nowhere on any of the paperwork for enrollment and a grade in her class did it say I could not do this. Though the Chair for the Art Dept. was good friends with this instructor, even she had to (reluctantly) enforce policy. My contention then and now is that if you feel very strongly about something, put it in your rules in as upfront a manner as possible. Being subjective and making it up as you go along will never cut it in any position of professional authority. If what you want is against the laws of state or country, you don’t get to make it legal. If the only thing it hurts are your personal sensibilities and said sensibilities are in the minority or not already in writing up-front, that’s just tough.

Your organizational rules, policies, and expectations cannot and should not account for trivial or unrelated concerns. Think of it being what it is; namely, a list of the things that management *cannot* yield on, and as such this should be a reasonably short and simple list. What is not listed on there is open for discussion. Always keep that foremost in your thoughts in all matters of merit and discipline.

*Any* insurrections among the members of *any* social group can be nipped in the bud and permanently prevented by a management team that works as a team and that stays on top of events inside their own organization. You make the rules, enforce them in a timely, consistent, and ethical fashion and should have an *unwavering* understanding of who the onus should be on at all times. This last part is so crucial that the “Three Strikes” rule is absolutely necessary. If the president of a social club allows themself to be intimidated, overwhelmed or made apathetic, remove them. Conversely, if a president is insensitive to others and holds themselves apart from them, these types of presidents are a liability too and must also be removed. If a member tends to *chronically* be at the center of grief storms and ethical investigations reveal no legitimate reasons for this person to cause such trouble, they need to be removed too. Your organizations’ voting and membership policies need to clearly state the aforementioned warnings in more diplomatic but no less serious terms *before* a person is voted into office or a member joins - and especially before any money changes hands. If any of these conduct guidelines have to be changed, removed, or new ones added *as a result of an event that provoked those changes* then the changes must be explained to everyone; they must apply to everyone, and these changes must remain in force for no less than a year thereafter. This cannot happen often or suddenly, or for trivial matters if you want to actually continue to have an organization where these guidelines apply.

Most of the organizational killers however are insurrections or incompetence among *executive staff*. These are weeds that destroy everyone and everything else until they are literally pulled out from the roots and stringent measures are taken to *permanently* bar incompetent people from holding executive positions (or in the case of troublemakers, permanently barring them from attending *any* club functions). Bad management is exponentially more destructive and difficult to remedy than bad members.

Few want the job of taking these losers on and fewer still want to enforce bans over the long run. But, you slack off at your own peril. Many incompetent people can learn better methods, but not on their own and not in a short time, while for some the lack is incurable. This should not be a reason to punish or bar a person from attending as a member. If you appointed them into a position in which they failed, it was ultimately *your* mistake more than theirs. Own it. Ignorance is forgivable. Repeating an act of ignorance changes it to “stupid”.

Troublemaking is a part of a persons’ character, and that cannot be changed regardless of your wishes. Many chronic troublemakers are charismatic people who just always seem to have bad luck. But if there is a pattern of destruction in their wake, look at that pattern rather than just the person for clues on what to do with them. Even if the person happens to be that rare unfairly persecuted innocent, a string of discord following them around is death for your social organization over the long run. This is because unless they are the one in the limelight other persons will really dislike the constant drama, and you’ll see membership dwindle in a slow but steady bleed-out. If you want to keep your angel of death, keep him or her as a private side project *outside* the club or organization but *never* let them attend as a member, much less as an executive.

In the end…Be fair. Be ethical. Be thorough. Be consistent. But above all, be sensible and have a clear understanding of your duties, what the expectations are for both sides and when to pick your battles.

You’ll know if you are doing right if your club has a healthy number of long-term members and still gets a small but steady influx of new members. That said, feedback from the members is crucial, but the only time that feedback should be put to vote is if you are getting the same or similar topic of discussion from one-third or more of your *total* membership and this issue is clearly causing growing civil unrest. Always keep in mind that taboo-rooted complaints can take on lives of their own with the court of public opinion almost always being in favor of the *wrong* assumption. When serious charges like sexual misconduct, racial discrimination and related acts of criminal malfeasance are put on the table, these need to be met with *immediate* and *thorough* research into the sources and validity of these charges no matter what your personal feelings or investments are in the people or circumstances involved. Accusations of criminal acts should *never* be blown off, and there should *always* be a public statement of involvement and follow-through from management on the conclusion of these investigations. When people get the idea that management is not taking major trespasses like these seriously, they *will* take matters into their own hands. You *will not* like the results. Warning served upfront.

In Conclusion…

The matters I’m addressing here are by no means the only ones that should be looked into. I’m also only attempting to start a dialog and instigate more productive action. If you have a better way to deal with these matters, your constructive input is warmly welcome. As I said in the opening, I’m not claiming to be an authority in the matters. If anyone has issue with my credentials, these are as follows:

My history in managing large-scale social clubs and occasions begins in the late 1980’s, when I joined other more worthy persons in separate efforts to start a new sci-fi con, a new S.C.A. group, and a couple of small fan clubs. I came into these assignments when each were in the middle of what would be later acknowledged as the height of their respective “make or break” moments. I would have much rather have interceded earlier, but the managers of these clubs were not willing to accept outside help or advice until too late. I had an initiation from Hell, but that just made me even more determined to do better; I did, but I added some schooling too. I’m colligate certified as 0f 2003-04 in Contemporary Club Management, Recreation and Leisure, Tourism and Hospitality Industry and Therapeutic Crisis Intervention. I also certified top of my class as a Wilderness Firefighter: Fire Boss and I was given a letter of appreciation by the State of New Mexico Land Management Board for my service and teammate ops skills. Hope this is enough for now.

Thank you very much for your consideration.

Respectfully Yours, M.D. Farley

Comments

Editorial Notes

[ugitsisgv kanouludi (from livejournal.com)]

Thanks Chris!

This document is over-long because it was originally three separate ones in a collective file called "Sincerely, Yours". Recent events called for pulling these three based on their subject matters, which directly relate to said current events. These were written to be addressed in discussion forums, and I hope that the length of this one doesn't prevent constructive and applicable discussions on the topics it covers.